Go with the flow

Whether life hands you a bucket of stuff that you are anxious to get rid of, or you find yourself sitting on life's sidelines but longing for something more, the dilemma is the same. How do we get the push we need to move on?

There are two primary roadblocks to moving on: resistance and fear. So what has resistance got to do with moving on or drowning in misfortune?

Imagine you are standing by the ocean's edge. For balance, you dig your heels into the sand. But each new wave just knocks you down. Finally the undertow drags you out to sea. If you try swimming back against the tide, you will exhaust yourself and drown. If you do as water safety experts tell us swim parallel to shore until the powerful current subsides — you will likely survive.

Therein lies the first secret to moving on.. .don't waste energy resisting what is beyond your control.

It is impossible to move in two directions at the same time. As long as you fight against what you don't want, you will make no progress towards what you desire.

So, consider this. The next time you experience a loss, face real disappointment, or have a streak of bad luck, by all means kick and scream and whine and weep...for a while. Instead of railing against it, try to embrace any good that might be hidden in it.

Have you learned something?
Did someone else benefit?
Have you received love and concern?
Has it strengthened your faith?
Once you have mourned your lot and acknowledged all good, shift your focus what you want next.

I mentioned that the second common roadblock to moving on to what best for you next fear...fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not bing loved, fear of not being enough. Fear of the unknown — anything outside of our comfort zone — universally human. It is exquisitely normal to be afraid. But, it need not be immobilising. For the courage to walk with you fears in the direction of your dreams, you migh have to change your mind or your thoughts.

Change all thoughts to empowering ones. Change any mindset of "I can't" to a mindset of "I can if I" The secret to moving on is to simply keep moving... one -thought, one step, and one day at a time.