Work on your Appearance
Appearance
Action Item 1: Flatter yourself.
Most people have heard the expression, "It's not what you've got it's how you use it." If your goal is to maximize your attractiveness, you've got to take advantage of your best features. Accentuate the positive. While thinking of your body as an assemblage of parts is not healthy since you are more than just the sum of your parts, it's not a crime to take advantage of what you've got. Otherwise, even your best feature — eyes, in your case — won't stand out. It's your job to draw out what is most attractive in yourself — otherwise everything will get equal attention.
Note that there are many different types of advice for how to wear flattering clothes or how to accent your most flattering attributes. While these can be helpful, it is most helpful if you can find a friend or family member to go shopping with you in order to get feedback about what looks best in real life. Someone with a pear shape might look best in something with broad shoulders, but depending on who you are, that might not work. But remember, comfort is key. If you're relaxed in whatever you're wearing, your natural attractiveness will have a better chance of shining through.
Action Item 2: Know What's in Style.
You don't have to be a fashion hound to make yourself more becoming, but if you're walking through the halls of life with the jeans you wore when you were in 7th grade, you're likely to turn people off. It's similar for the size of clothing — it's great that an old reliable piece of clothing still fits, but that doesn't mean it still looks good.
Size is another issue. Fashion tends to fluxuate between baggy and tight, but keep in mind that while painted-on jeans send one message, and ones that are two sizes too big send another — neither are likely to make you look your best. The best thing to do is ditch the size obsession and pick clothes that make you feel and look good.
Fashion can be very annoying — it's fleeting and expensive. It pays to buy things that are relatively less obvious in their look — some of those "classic" styles that don't go in and out of fashion so quickly. Unless you've got money to burn, this is a good method to apply to your wardrobe in general. If you pay attention to the subtleties of what's in style, you'll be able to take something plain and turn it into something more fashionable.
Action Item 3: Stand straight.
Barring a degenerative problem or back injury, you have little recourse to get out of this one. Poor posture can communicate many things that may not actually reflect who you are, but people pick up those messages and make judgments based on them. Keep posture in mind, especially when you're in the spotlight or on a date. Being slumped over sends negative, body language. It makes you look unapproachable and unattractive. An open posture and face indicates confidence in general, which is an attractive vibe to give off.
It's not too late to train yourself into improved posture. Yoga can help, as can other disciplines — Alexander Technique, Feldenkrais, Pilates, most dance styles. If your back problems are chronic or related to stress or sustained activity, massage therapists or chiropractors can help. All of these things can take time and money, but it's often worth the investment since it radically enhances how you look and feel.
Action Item 4: Be at your Optimal Weight.
According to what you've told us about your weight and height, your body mass index or BMI, which is an estimate of body fat percentage, is somewhere between 22 and 21. Your BMI is calculated by dividing your weight in kilograms (pounds multiplied by .45) divided by the height in meters (inches multiplied by .0254) squared.
The US government recommends that people maintain BMIs under 25. In fact, maintaining a good BMI might be a good life assurance policy. Statistically, people whose BMIs are between 19 and 22 live longer than people who are below or above this range.
But keep this in perspective. If you're very muscular you're going to have a BMI that is too high even if you have an extremely low percentage of body fat. For example, Arnold Schwartzenegger's BMI most certainly exceeds 25, which would normally indicate that he's obese. Clearly this isn't right since his high index is due to his high muscle mass. But for most of us, the BMI is a pretty good estimate of whether we are in a healthy weight range.
According to our math, you fall safely in the normal BMI range. Having a good BMI means that you're avoiding the numerous health risks associated with being overweight. But even though you're within a healthy range, this does not mean that you should start in on the Twinkies. A balanced diet and regular exercise is important for all of us, no matter our weight. And with age comes decreased metabolism rates, among other physical changes. If you're not currently happy with your weight, it's up to you whether you want to lose or add a few inches here or there — but keep in mind that you're well within a normal weight range. Any thoughts otherwise may indicate a perceived self-image problem rather than an actual physical problem.
As for slenderness and America's preoccupation with it, keep in mind that while slenderness is generally considered attractive in America at this time, it hasn't always been revered. Looking at body shape preferences throughout cultural history, we see that heavier people were held in much higher esteem during times of economic hardship and food scarcity. And generally, tribal cultures in food-scarce regions consider weight an attractive attribute.
From a health standpoint, there's nothing that inherently makes skinny better than fat. Both carry health risks and both can have a negative impact emotionally and psychologically. There are risks involved in dieting in general, and while it is sometimes necessary to diet, you want to make sure you don't get caught up in a yo-yo cycle of gaining and losing weight, which is not uncommon and very dangerous. Consulting a doctor or nutritionist about this may be the best way to determine whether your weight is a serious health concern.
And remember that while your weight can matter to others in terms of how they assess your attractiveness, this is your body we're talking about, and it has a right to be healthy. The bottom line is, if you treat your body, yourself, and others with respect, others will find you attractive, even if you're hoping to shed a couple pounds.
Action Item 1: Flatter yourself.
Most people have heard the expression, "It's not what you've got it's how you use it." If your goal is to maximize your attractiveness, you've got to take advantage of your best features. Accentuate the positive. While thinking of your body as an assemblage of parts is not healthy since you are more than just the sum of your parts, it's not a crime to take advantage of what you've got. Otherwise, even your best feature — eyes, in your case — won't stand out. It's your job to draw out what is most attractive in yourself — otherwise everything will get equal attention.
Note that there are many different types of advice for how to wear flattering clothes or how to accent your most flattering attributes. While these can be helpful, it is most helpful if you can find a friend or family member to go shopping with you in order to get feedback about what looks best in real life. Someone with a pear shape might look best in something with broad shoulders, but depending on who you are, that might not work. But remember, comfort is key. If you're relaxed in whatever you're wearing, your natural attractiveness will have a better chance of shining through.
Action Item 2: Know What's in Style.
You don't have to be a fashion hound to make yourself more becoming, but if you're walking through the halls of life with the jeans you wore when you were in 7th grade, you're likely to turn people off. It's similar for the size of clothing — it's great that an old reliable piece of clothing still fits, but that doesn't mean it still looks good.
Size is another issue. Fashion tends to fluxuate between baggy and tight, but keep in mind that while painted-on jeans send one message, and ones that are two sizes too big send another — neither are likely to make you look your best. The best thing to do is ditch the size obsession and pick clothes that make you feel and look good.
Fashion can be very annoying — it's fleeting and expensive. It pays to buy things that are relatively less obvious in their look — some of those "classic" styles that don't go in and out of fashion so quickly. Unless you've got money to burn, this is a good method to apply to your wardrobe in general. If you pay attention to the subtleties of what's in style, you'll be able to take something plain and turn it into something more fashionable.
Action Item 3: Stand straight.
Barring a degenerative problem or back injury, you have little recourse to get out of this one. Poor posture can communicate many things that may not actually reflect who you are, but people pick up those messages and make judgments based on them. Keep posture in mind, especially when you're in the spotlight or on a date. Being slumped over sends negative, body language. It makes you look unapproachable and unattractive. An open posture and face indicates confidence in general, which is an attractive vibe to give off.
It's not too late to train yourself into improved posture. Yoga can help, as can other disciplines — Alexander Technique, Feldenkrais, Pilates, most dance styles. If your back problems are chronic or related to stress or sustained activity, massage therapists or chiropractors can help. All of these things can take time and money, but it's often worth the investment since it radically enhances how you look and feel.
Action Item 4: Be at your Optimal Weight.
According to what you've told us about your weight and height, your body mass index or BMI, which is an estimate of body fat percentage, is somewhere between 22 and 21. Your BMI is calculated by dividing your weight in kilograms (pounds multiplied by .45) divided by the height in meters (inches multiplied by .0254) squared.
The US government recommends that people maintain BMIs under 25. In fact, maintaining a good BMI might be a good life assurance policy. Statistically, people whose BMIs are between 19 and 22 live longer than people who are below or above this range.
But keep this in perspective. If you're very muscular you're going to have a BMI that is too high even if you have an extremely low percentage of body fat. For example, Arnold Schwartzenegger's BMI most certainly exceeds 25, which would normally indicate that he's obese. Clearly this isn't right since his high index is due to his high muscle mass. But for most of us, the BMI is a pretty good estimate of whether we are in a healthy weight range.
According to our math, you fall safely in the normal BMI range. Having a good BMI means that you're avoiding the numerous health risks associated with being overweight. But even though you're within a healthy range, this does not mean that you should start in on the Twinkies. A balanced diet and regular exercise is important for all of us, no matter our weight. And with age comes decreased metabolism rates, among other physical changes. If you're not currently happy with your weight, it's up to you whether you want to lose or add a few inches here or there — but keep in mind that you're well within a normal weight range. Any thoughts otherwise may indicate a perceived self-image problem rather than an actual physical problem.
As for slenderness and America's preoccupation with it, keep in mind that while slenderness is generally considered attractive in America at this time, it hasn't always been revered. Looking at body shape preferences throughout cultural history, we see that heavier people were held in much higher esteem during times of economic hardship and food scarcity. And generally, tribal cultures in food-scarce regions consider weight an attractive attribute.
From a health standpoint, there's nothing that inherently makes skinny better than fat. Both carry health risks and both can have a negative impact emotionally and psychologically. There are risks involved in dieting in general, and while it is sometimes necessary to diet, you want to make sure you don't get caught up in a yo-yo cycle of gaining and losing weight, which is not uncommon and very dangerous. Consulting a doctor or nutritionist about this may be the best way to determine whether your weight is a serious health concern.
And remember that while your weight can matter to others in terms of how they assess your attractiveness, this is your body we're talking about, and it has a right to be healthy. The bottom line is, if you treat your body, yourself, and others with respect, others will find you attractive, even if you're hoping to shed a couple pounds.
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