Losing Control

One of the most frightening things about melting from a normal, solid, ego based lifestyle, to a more liquid, dynamic, spiritual one is that you always assumed to be sound and good and true, start to lose its cohersion. For example take the simple concept of 'self-control.' You have control of yourself. You are incharge of your destiny, the captain of your fate, the master of your mind.... Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Beyond these words lie madness. Madness to the ego - danger to the me story that you hold so dear. The very foundation of the dam is strating to crack. Do you really wish to stress it more? To destroy the dam will free the river of your soul, but the dam once in ruin can never be rebuilt.

Control. A simple enough concept, but let us look at it a little closer, let us brush away the dust and cobwebs from this ancient box. Let us lift the lid and peer inside. Let us find the secrets hidden within. Let us look closely at an assumption that is as old as the hills - the assumption of self-control.

Decisions are made because they feel right. They feel right because you were raised with raised with certain values, you have certain lusts, you have compassion and selfishness and anger and envy.
Can you help what you want?
Do you control what makes you love?
Can you make yourself happy while watching an animal suffer?
Desires arise from our primal nature - filtered through our value system they drive our emotions and thoughts.

Desires are uncontrolable. We may think we control our actions, but all we are doing is satisfying one desire in lieu of another.
What controls your action?
What controls your thoughts?
what controls your deepest emotions?
I want, I Want, I want - The blessing of life.
The foundation of ego.
The ripples upon the still and Ethereal Lake.
Can you watch the natural desires arise?
Can you see them twiching the strings of your life?